arts & crafts

Back in college, one of my senior management classes, titled "Creativity and Innovation", was basically an arts and crafts class. My first assignment was to create a personal mind map, which was actually a cool concept about using both sides of one's brain, developing clearer thinking strategies, etcetera etcetera.

WELL...my professor decided to ham up the project a bit, and I was basically instructed to glue pieces of glittery macaroni to a piece of paper. Here is a real quote from my professor (please read this in a female, 60-yr-old southern accent): "If you're someone who likes to go to the gym, don't just write "Gym" or draw a barbell. Hmmm, I know! You could glue a toothpick with a lifesaver on each end and make a barbell!"

This example struck me in several ways.
1.) *obvious shock and awe*
2.) I don't think that using sugary, artificially colored, flotation device-shaped candy is really in line with the whole "exercise" thing
3.) The ratio of 'bar' to 'bell' would be totally inaccurate for someone of my strength
4.) I decided in kindergarten that I was done doing arts and crafts

I am absolutely not kidding about #4. It is one of the clearest memories that I have retained from my younger years. Let me preface this story by saying that I have actually grown up to see some value in well-done, purposeful "crafty" creations.

Craft time. Everyone in my kindergarten class was handed a paper plate and piece of paper with a photo-copied outline of a duck. I was already equipped with the other elements that were necessary to complete this project: crayons, round-tipped child scissors, Elmer's glue, and a 5-year-old brain.

The plate was the water, see, so I took out my blue crayon and began dragging it over the surface of the plate. "This is a shame", I thought to myself, "using up so much of my blue crayon in such a non-creative fashion. Oh great! I snapped in half....*sigh*...if we're all just making our plates turn blue, why didn't Mrs. Edwards just give us all blue plates?"
The next step was to give the duck some color. I thought that this part was pretty fun. I enjoyed staying in the lines and using different colors for the eye and beak. I still like coloring, actually. It's purposeful and semi-imaginative. Coloring an entire plate blue? Not at all.

The final step was to cut the duck out of the paper and to glue it to the paper plate in an upright position. "Well that makes sense", I surmised. "It's a duck floating around in a puddle of water. Mom will think it's cute, anyway."

The plate was thoroughly blue'd and the duck was half-colored by the time the 3:00 bell rang (hey, you can't rush art). Mrs. Edwards made the same statement that she always made at the end of art class. "Those of you who didn't finish can complete the project at home". I had heard my teacher say this many times, but today I had an epiphany.
"I will not have anything more to do with this duck-on-plate nonsense. I have never spent any time finishing one of these projects at home, now that I think of it. I mean, this is fun to do in class and all, but I see no real value in most of these projects. Christmas ornaments I understand, cards for mom and dad are sweet, but a paper duck on a paper plate? Who came up with this idea? Who cares? Not me...I will not waste one minute of my own time on this lifeless duck"

Seventeen years after that day, I found myself in a similar situation. This time, however, it was for credit. I mustered up every ounce of craftiness I had, and worked feverishly on that mind-map until I sweat glitter. And you better believe there was a duck in there somewhere.